Ingleesh - as we know it

We seem to have a very strange attraction towards English. Knowing English means you are properly educated. And in our enthusiasm to portray ourselves as English knowing Indians, we (including me) commit a whole lot of mistakes. Here are some gems which I found in Bangalore -

Tender Coconut sould here - You know that tender coconut is good for the body. In case you didn't know it is good for the soul also, you just have to read this message.
Dwan, Unicron - These are models of motorbikes which a mechanic claims to service. If you ever see such models on the road, please do let me know.
Gate out off order - When a railway gate does not work, it just switches off.
24 hours brake down service - Is the brake down in your car, call the 24 hours brake down service centre.
Those who have made donations towards the Tsunami disaster... - Shame on you. How can you contribute towards a disaster which claimed so many lives? I just contributed for the relief of the people affected by the disaster.
Ingoing / Outgoing - Did you think only your mobile has incoming and outgoing concept? Think again. Even our buses have it. You are "ingoing" when you board the bus and "outgoing" when you are getting out.
Sarround Sound - Why don't we spell the way we speak? Or spell whatever way we want to spell as long as the message is conveyed. Did you hear me or do you want surround sound?
Chican Stale - This is a real gem. It took a long time to decipher what it meant. I am sure you cannot find out unless you find some chicken meat hanging around. Well, stale or no stale, it means "Chicken stall"!!!

I will try to add some more (with pics) in the near future.